Here’s a powerful technique to begin to free yourself from past misunderstandings and grievances you have. Let’s begin by taking responsibility for our lives and commit to live in power by releasing victimhood and blame.
When we hold someone bondage to the past, we keep ourselves captive also. We remember the pain and fear it repeating again. So we close down, build defenses, and wall off our hearts and emotions.
Remember, some people are repeat offenders and never change. At least we give them the space and opportunity to grow. If you have someone like this in your life, you can choose to disassociate from them. They have free choice too.
Forgiving means stopping your permission for their behavior to be repeated and that what was done was unacceptable. Forgiveness is needed for behaviors that were abusive and need to be ended.
So when we forgive, we unchain the past and the unforgiven from our minds and our hearts. We stop giving permission for them to torment our minds and our thoughts. Both you and the other person are free to grow into unlimited possibilities and evolve. This opens the door for miracles to occur. You can give them the opportunity to recognize their core star essence and let that light shine brightly. Simultaneously, you also recharge and renew yours
This may be inappropriate for the random act of violence from a stranger, or for someone who was abused as a child or while in some other position of true helplessness. Further healing may be required.
Step 1: To begin, imagine your offender in front of you. Next, we are going to ask them, in deep sincerity, to forgive us. Yes, we will take the reigns and ask for forgiveness first, even if we are totally innocent. If you find this difficult, simply go up to their Soul level and ask Soul to Soul.
For example, perhaps I am angry with my mother for forcing me to eat spinach when I hated it. I would say, “Mother, will you forgive me?”
If that person doesn’t or can’t answer you, their Soul will respond “YES!” because their Soul wants freedom and forgiveness too. It’s that easy.
Step 2: Declare your forgiveness to them first.
“I, (Margaret) forgive (my mother) for (making me eat spinach). I release and forgive her for her highest good.”
Step 3: Next, imagine going up to that person and giving them a heart to heart hug. If your pain, anger and resentment prevents this heart connection, again communicate your Soul with their Soul. There is no grievance on the upper planes.
Step 4: Really begin to sense that person’s soul essence. Stay there as long as it takes to feel a love connection. Remember, I am with you if you feel uncomfortable. It will be all right. Just give it a chance. You’ll begin to feel hardness melt. Begin to feel their heart beat against your chest. Sink deeper in.... Realize this person’s God Presence is the same God Presence that lives in you. Feel the pain, bitterness and anger releasing. Relax, take a deep breath, and go deeper yet. Rest.
Step 5: Pay attention to your emotions and what your partner says and feels towards you. Rest and find comfort in knowing that you are healing two people very deeply and on many levels.
Step 6: Visualize the person you are forgiving being blessed by your forgiveness and, as a result, being freed from continuing the behavior that hurt you.
Step 7: Feel yourself growing lighter and more joyous. Know you are free to move on and create your life in happiness and love.
Here is a beginning list of people to forgive to get started:
Mother
Father
Siblings
Doctors
Nurses
Bosses
Employees
Peers
Teachers
Priests, Rabbis, Ministers, Nuns...
Neighbors
Old boyfriends/girlfriends
Lovers
Ex-wives/husbands
Children
Friends
And you!
Being relentlessly and adamantly self-forgiving is an emotional healing component and an important one. Until you can forgive yourself, you cannot forgive anyone else. Remember that you forgive for YOUR benefit, not theirs.
You get the idea. Now set yourself free!
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